Having been fans of the theatre for some time, Rob & Jim finally get a chance to Meet the Feebles, and what they discover backstage is truly shocking. Topics discussed include the mechanics of walrus sex, the exact value of a puppet’s life, and when it’s acceptable to use live ammunition in a movie shoot. Also: the horrors of Puppet Vietnam.
Having sought out the legendary artifact, Rob & Jim open the Lament Configuration and experience a whole new dimension of suffering: the final theatrically-released Hellraiser movie, Hellraiser: Bloodline! Topics carved into their flesh include praise for Doug Bradley’s amazing performance, the abridged filmography of Alan Smithee, and whether or not the puzzle box has ever made sense as a prop. Plus: If you would like to hasten Rob & Jim’s escape from Hell, please donate one drop of blood per episode to get access to our bonus recordings. For three drops of blood, we will attempt to scream your name from the depths of the ninth circle!
Rob & Jim run afoul of the Gummo Curse, which is to say they’ve had a very strange week and are also having trouble talking about Gummo. Are these things related? Maybe. Topics briefly touched upon include nihilism, simulated animal cruelty, and fruit flies. Lots and lots and lots of fruit flies. In the process of writing this summary I’ve killed at least a dozen, so that’s how my day is going. How are you? Next time: we’re bringing this cube to SPACE!
(ed. note: in the process of scheduling the release of this episode, I have killed another dozen fruit flies. i guess this is just my life now?)
Rob & Jim have a very special friend they would like to introduce you to. He’s… kind of a Santa Claus, but also kind of an uncle? He’s My Uncle: The Alien, and he has an important message for you kids about classism. Topics awkwardly raised over Thanksgiving dinner include the complete incompetence of the secret service, when it’s appropriate to threaten children with death in a movie intended for kids, and a bizarre digression about aliens that is immediately forgotten about. Also: OUTLAW! LASER! ROBO-GEEK!
Rob & Jim are dispatched to contain The Blob, a movie that is criminally under-evangelized compared to its contemporaries, The Thing and The Fly. The boys have a theory as to why, but they spend most of the episode gushing about the INCREDIBLE special effects, the surprisingly nuanced secondary character interactions, and exactly how much poop needs to be added to water before it officially becomes poopwater. The answer will (probably not) surprise you! Plus: we discover the first canonical appearance of Johnny Fiveaces.